


'Til the End

by in_the_direction_of_truth



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Fix-It, Gay Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Lols, Love Confessions, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:00:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19116694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/in_the_direction_of_truth/pseuds/in_the_direction_of_truth
Summary: How the end of Endgame should've ended lol. I swear the fic is better written than that. Please read it.On a more serious note, Endgame fucked over Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes, both individually and in regard to their relationship. I'm sure you all know those so I'm not going to get into the details. This is the way it should've gone down, with a Stucky slant, of course. Because whether its canon in the MCU or not and whether you ship Stucky or not, there's no denying that Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes love and care deeply about each other.Edit: I've revised and reposted this cuz I wasn't happy with the first version I posted. If you've already read my fic please re-read it. I love the changes I made and hope you do too!---





	'Til the End

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Stucky fic! The title is unoriginal, I know. I'm a little late to the game but I've been a fan of Marvel, especially all three Cap movies, for years and inspiration struck after seeing Endgame so here we are.  
> Thanks for reading! Please remember to kudos, bookmark and/or comment!

Standing in the quiet of the woods on Stark property it was hard for Bucky to believe that just a week ago they were in battle against Thanos for the fate of the universe, hard to believe that Thanos had been defeated.

He looked on as Steve, Bruce, and Sam stood in the distance, next to the time machine control boards. It still felt surreal to be back, like when the prickly haze starts to fade in a limb that fell asleep. In the time since he'd returned he tried to get his bearings on the world, yet again becoming a man out of time. The remaining Avengers had rented a hotel until plans for the future could be set. Though his room was small and sparse, Bucky was happy. He had a place of his own and didn't need much to be content. Living through the Great Depression had instilled in him a sparing lifestyle. He had learned to survive with very little, preparing him for life on the run decades later.

The logistics of what he'd do with his life and where he'd live, whether returning to Wakanda, Brooklyn, or elsewhere, could wait. Bucky was just ready for the fight to be over, tired of trading one war for another. He thought of what he'd told Steve back in Bucharest, when he had been trying to piece together a normal life, just before police stormed his apartment and his life fell back into chaos again: _It always ends in a fight_.

Bucky had spent much of the past week with Steve and it almost felt like old times. Though Steve had visited Bucky in Wakanda after Shuri removed the brainwashing from Bucky's mind and restored his memories, he was still taken aback when Bucky had recounted a memory from when they were teenagers. It was still hard for Steve to believe that his friend was back.

He had told of the time Steve had begged Bucky to sit for him, insisting he needed practice drawing the human face. Bucky had sat for forty minutes while Steve studied him, eyes raking over him then returning to his sketchbook. Bucky shifted on the chair when Steve looked at him a bit too closely, perhaps seeing the secret Bucky had tried so hard to keep hidden. When Steve was finished, Bucky felt the wind knocked out of him while looking at the picture. It was a beautiful rendering, capturing his handsome face with a deft combination of regality and mischief. When Steve had asked what Bucky thought of it, he put on a smirk and ruffled Steve's hair. "Not bad, for a punk."

Bucky had wondered how a simple pencil drawing could hold so much reverence. Was that the way Steve saw him? Did Steve feel the same? Foolishly, he'd never gotten the answer to those questions.

Bruce’s voice cut through the silence, interrupting his thoughts. “Now remember, you have to return the stones to the exact moment you got them or you’re gonna open up a bunch of nasty alternative realities.”

“Don’t worry, Bruce,” Steve said, closing the briefcase that held the stones. “Clip all the branches.”

Bruce cast his gaze down, "You know, I tried… when I had the gauntlet – the stones, I-I really tried to bring her back.” Bruce paused, looking back at Steve. “I miss her, man.”

Steve nodded, “Me too.”

Bucky knew if he’d been in the same position, if Steve was the one that died on Vormir, he would’ve done the same thing. His heart breaks for both of them, breaks at the fact that no matter how deeply you might want something, there are just some things that are never going to be.

Bucky thought about the brief interactions he’d had with Natasha, when they weren’t, you know, trying to kill each other. There were times when Bucky still hadn’t feel apart of the team, on the good side of the fight. He knew it was his conditioning, but it still scared the hell out of him that although he was no longer the Winter Soldier, Hydra still had hold of his mind, worming its way through his thoughts.

Natasha’s background in the KGB gave her an understanding of what Bucky went through that few others had. She once told Bucky that Steve had confided in her shortly after he had found out Bucky was alive. He had told her a dozen stories from their youth, of the kind of friend and man that James 'Bucky' Barnes was.

Bucky was grateful that Natasha was a good friend to Steve, when he needed it most, and Bucky thought they’d be friends too, if only there was more time.

Steve grabbed the case, turning to walk in Bucky’s direction. Sam stepped in beside him.

“You know if you want, I could come with you,” Sam said.

Steve looked at Sam, coming to a stop and facing his friend.

“You’re a good man, Sam. This one’s on me, though.”

Bucky knew Steve would decline Sam’s offer. He had done the same thing when Steve had mentioned that they were building another time machine, saying that he was going to be the lone person to take the stones back. Steve had insisted that Bucky stay, that he didn’t have to put himself through that, not after what he’d just been through, spending five years of non-existence in an alternate realm.

The same could be said about Steve, though. He’d sacrificed so much, experienced so much pain and loss. But of course Steve Rogers took the task of returning the stones, always believing he could do more, that if there was a mission it was his duty to carry it out until the end.

Bucky simultaneously loved and hated that part of Steve, that readiness to put himself at the center of danger, willing to sacrifice himself in the name of all that was good. For his country, for his team, for Bucky. The threat of losing Steve always loomed, even back in Brooklyn, the sickly kid that never knew how to _just stay down_.

This was the same man that faced down Thanos and his army, alone. Bloodied and bruised, holding a broken shield.

Steve stepped to Bucky and they wordlessly looked at one another for a moment.

 _This is the last time you’ll see that handsome face, those pale blue eyes and full pink lips, those chiseled cheekbones and strong jaw_ , Bucky thought. _Take it all in_.

Steve gave a thin smile, lips tightly pressed, “Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.”

“How can I,” Bucky said, shaking his head and smiling fondly, unable to hide the sadness in his eyes, “you’re taking all the stupid with you.” His voice cracked a little at the end, betraying him.

Steve’s expression shifts, he appears almost mournful, as if he doesn't want to leave.

They had said that to each other the night before Bucky shipped off to England, to the war. Bucky remembers that night, he fucking remembers it so clearly. It feels like a lifetime ago and just yesterday all at once, and perhaps it is. He wishes down to his bones that they could go back to that night.

Bucky wonders what would’ve happened if he hadn’t been drafted and if Steve hadn’t taken the serum. He wonders if he told Steve he loved him back then that would’ve changed anything. But no, even if he hadn’t been called to serve, Steve still would’ve done anything to help his country, he still would’ve become Captain America. There was nothing anyone could’ve done to change Steve’s mind once it was made up. God knew Bucky had tried.

But Bucky did leave and Steve did take the serum, both of them becoming relics frozen in time. What were the odds that both of them would be alive in the twenty-first century, their paths crossing again? Bucky had once thought maybe that meant they were fated to be together, that this was their second chance, if only he had the nerve to tell Steve how he felt.

They both took a step forward and embraced. It was brief, and Bucky wished he could stop time so they could stay like that a little longer. So he could feel Steve’s body pressed against his, and stay in Steve’s arms, strong, solid, _there_.  


When they parted Bucky lowered his gaze, hit with a crushing thought, _This is the end of the line_.

“I’m gonna miss you, buddy,” Bucky said, voice no louder than a whisper.

“It’s gonna be okay, Buck.”

Bucky forced a sad smile. How was it going to be okay? He was losing his best friend, the man that he loved more than anything or anyone, to a ghost, a memory, a falsehood.

Steve’s words were little comfort.

 _I don’t know if I’m worth all this, Steve_ echoed in Bucky’s mind. Surely he wasn’t, if Steve was going to leave right after he got Bucky back, after five long years.

Steve turned, walking onto the platform. Bucky watched him go, unable to look away.

“How long is this going to take?” Sam asked.

“For him, as long as he needs. For us, five seconds,” Bruce replied.

Bucky couldn’t understand how time could work like that, how it moved at different speeds in different dimensions. In this dimension, time was kept by the faltering murmur of his heart, his unsteady breaths.

Steve picked up Mjolnir.

“Ready, Cap?” Bruce said. Steve glanced back at him and nodded. “Alright, we’ll meet you back here, okay?”

“You bet,” Steve said. Bucky could detect the unease in Steve’s voice.

Bucky stifled the urge to convince Steve that he didn’t have to do this. He’d already done his part in saving the world, a dozen times over. He didn’t owe anyone anything else.

It was more than that though.

Time travel had given Steve the chance to go back and have a life with Peggy, and he knew Steve would take it. Steve loved Peggy, that much was obvious to Bucky. He had seen Steve looking forlorn at Peggy’s photograph when he thought no one was looking.

He had been so selfless over the years, he deserved to be selfish for once. He deserved a happy life. Bucky just wished it would’ve been in the present, with him.

Bucky held his breath as he looked on, hoping their gazes would meet and Steve would see the desperation in his eyes, and choose to come back.

“Going quantum, 3, 2, 1,” Bruce said.

Steve disappeared with an electrical crackle and dim flash of light.

“And returning in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.”

Bruce flicked a switch and…

Nothing.

Bruce looked at the empty platform in confusion.

“Where is he?” Sam said.

“I don’t know. He blew right by his timestamp. He should be here,” Bruce said, flicking switches.

“Well, get him back.”

“I’m trying.”

“Get him the hell back.”

“Sam, I’m trying!”

Bucky watched the exchange between Sam and Bruce, his nerves increasing tenfold. It hadn’t been faulty machinery that kept Steve from coming back.

“Sam,” Bucky said, interrupting their continued bickering. “I think I know where he went.” They both looked at him curiously. “To be with her. Peggy.”

Bucky felt on the urge of tears, saying it aloud made it more real.

Sam furrowed his brows, “Did he mention that earlier?”

Bucky shifted his weight uncomfortably, “No. I just kinda know. I think he’s there to stay.”

“Why didn’t the damned fool tell us?” Sam huffed.

“Maybe he thought it’d be easier this way,” Bruce said.

“He took the cowards way out, that’s what he did. And Steve Rogers is no coward.” Sam shook his head and looked at Bruce. “Would he still be able to come back, if he wanted to?”

“I made sure he had extra vials of Pym particles in case he ran into trouble returning the stones. But there still has to be someone here to man the controls.”

“Then let’s get to work,” Sam said, approaching the control board.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Bruce said.

“Pressing buttons and flipping switches ain’t that complicated.”

“If you hit the wrong one, Steve could get trapped in the quantum realm.”

“So I’ll just hit it again and he’ll get untrapped.”

Bruce shook his head, rolling his eyes at Sam’s naiveté.

Bucky watched as they tried for twenty minutes to bring Steve back. When they finally gave up Bucky felt immense dread settle in his tired bones. He wanted to beg Bruce to try again, just once more, but the lump in his throat wouldn't let him.

“We’re headed back to the hotel, Bucky. You coming with us?"

Bucky shook his head, biting his lip.

Sam raised his brows, “He’s not coming back. You said so yourself.”

Bucky looked at the dirt, trying and failing, to fight back tears. Sam briefly touched Bucky’s shoulder as he and Bruce passed, walking up the path to the driveway.

Bucky refused to believe that this was the end of the line for them. He wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he didn’t at least try to get Steve back, still clinging to the hope that Steve would change his mind.

He stepped to the controls, pressing random buttons, hoping against all odds he’d press the right one and Steve would return.

Nothing happened.

After the lengths Steve had gone to protect him, to keep him safe, Bucky thought maybe Steve did love him back, but no. This was undeniable proof.

He slammed his flesh fist on a button, and Steve appeared on the platform, helmet dematerializing. He looked just the way he did when he left, not a hair out of place.

Bucky gaped at him. He fucking did it.

Steve descended the steps of the platform quickly, tossing the briefcase to the ground, practically running to Bucky.

“Did you return the stones?”

“Yes,” Steve said, somehow out of breath. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “I love you, Buck.”

“Wh-what? I thought you loved Peggy. Weren’t you going to stay with her, have the life you should’ve had?”

“Yes. I was standing on her porch, about to knock on the door, and up until that moment I thought it was what I wanted. But I couldn’t do it. Peggy had told me before she died to move on, that she’d had a life and she wished I had the same. There was no going back to how it once was. She was right. I did love her and she'll always have a special place in my heart, but I've got to move on. All this time I've spent pining for someone that went on to live a great life without me. She'd had a husband, children, a career. My desperation to hold onto her was me trying to keep a connection to my past, but you are a part of my past too, Buck, and I want you to be a part of my future. That’s what we've been fighting for this whole time, for the future, not the past. It’s for you, Bucky. It’s always been you. I travelled through time and space to get back to you. I'm in love with you.”

Bucky couldn’t believe it.

He had imagined this moment so many times, in so many scenarios. He would say ‘I love you’ and Steve would say it right back without hesitation, or vice versa. So natural. So easy. Words rolling off the tongue like their playful banter.

But under the weight of Steve’s declaration, Bucky could hardly breathe.

Steve waited for something, _anything_ from Bucky.

“Steve,” Bucky said. There was a shaky quality to his voice, similar to the moment just before Bucky vanished into dust before Steve’s eyes, scattered on the ground like leaves on a cool autumn day.

Bucky teared up. It didn’t take much for him to be brought back to that day, to that awful place between life and death. The feeling of existing one moment then drifting into oblivion the next.

Everything bubbled up to the surface, each emotion bleeding into one another, released in deep sobs. Mourning lost time, relief that he and Steve had survived, guilt over the pain he had inflicted on so many people, including Steve, disbelief that Steve loves him.

In that moment, Steve didn’t care if Bucky loved him back. He needed to comfort his best friend who had just faced a kind of hell that Steve couldn’t bear to imagine. He pulled Bucky into his arms, tears forming in his own eyes. “I’ve got you, pal.”

That made Bucky cry harder.

They held each other for an unknown time, neither of them aware of the passing minutes. “I feared I'd never see you again," Steve said, tears staining his cheeks. "Everyday for the past five years I thought about the moment you disappeared before my eyes. I saw the fear and confusion in your eyes -- the same as my own. I heard you calling out my name as if I could save you. It fucking destroyed me that I couldn't. I'd lost you so many times before, Buck. I thought this was it, that you were gone for good."

"Don't blame yourself, Steve. I know you gave Thanos hell. Once a back-alley punk, always a back-alley punk." Steve let out a teary laugh that sounded more like a sob at the familiar nickname. "I'm here," Bucky said, giving Steve a squeeze to emphasize _I’m warm flesh and blood pumping through veins. I’m a sly smile and a quick laugh. I’m strong arms and a gentle touch. I'm alive._ “I’m not going anywhere.

Bucky pressed his mouth to Steve's neck, lips brushing against his soft, pale skin as he said the secret he'd kept since 1933. "I love you, Steve.” Steve pulled back from the embrace, raising his hand to Bucky's cheek, wiping at the drying tears with the pad of his thumb. "I never thought you could feel the same. All this time." Bucky paused, looking away, pressing his lips together and shaking his head. He thought of all the times I'd wanted to kiss Steve, but suppressed it.

Steve gently tilted Bucky's head, bringing their gazes together again. "Me too."

Bucky's smiled, his gaze lowering to Steve’s mouth, then flickering back to his eyes, lips parting. They both leaned in, closing the distance between their mouths. The kiss was a gentle swipe of their lips, so soft it ached.

When they parted, Bucky sighed, “Wow.”

“Yeah,” Steve said, running his fingers over Bucky’s beard. Bucky grinned, wrapping his metal arm around Steve's waist. “I’ve been thinking,” Steve paused, leaving Bucky wondering what else Steve had to reveal, his heart skipping a beat in anticipation, “about giving Sam the shield.”

Bucky looked at Steve, stunned. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do this for me– I mean, being Captain America has been such a big part of your life and now that we’re together you don’t have to give that up. Not if you don’t want to.”

Steve shook his head, “I’m doing this for me, for us. Hell, I didn't even truly become Captain America until Azzano. Because of you.”

Bucky smiled, and captured Steve's mouth in another kiss. It started chaste like their first, soft pecks and admiring touches. Steve was the first to cross the boundary into something more heated, gripping at Bucky's jacket, pulling him closer, their bodies fitting together like a sensual mosaic.

White-hot heat seized Bucky, awakening the passion he'd had for Steve since he was sixteen. Most nights back then he'd dreamt of kissing the hollow of Steve's collarbones, his hands caressing the jut of his ribs, waking with damp pajamas and flushed cheeks.

He sucked on Steve's bottom lip. Steve hummed, parting his lips, allowing Bucky to slip his tongue inside, swiping against Steve's. They both moaned at the contact. Steve shifted his hand to the back of Bucky's head, fingers threading in his soft brown hair.

Bucky backed Steve up against a tree, and Steve angled his thigh between Bucky's legs, pressing right where Bucky felt it most. He gasped into Steve's mouth, his metal hand gripping against the thick material of his time travel suit. He wanted to rip it off Steve's body, but thought better of it. Fucking Steve on the property of a dead man whose parents he’d killed didn’t seem the way to go.

Bucky forced himself to pull back, their mouths parting with a loud, wet smack. He looked at Steve, his eyes darkened with lust, pupils threatening to engulf the blue irises, swollen lips even pinker than usual. It was a sight Bucky wanted to see again, preferably with less clothes involved in the scenario.

They could wait until they got back to the hotel. Bucky imagined they probably wouldn't leave their room for a week, desperate to spend as much time together as possible, to memorize every line of each other's bodies with touches and kisses. To take in every moan and sigh, every smile and laugh.

They stood, catching their breath, silently reveled in the moment, some semblance of peace after the war.

It struck Bucky just how fortunate they were to have lived to see this day, after everything they’d faced over the years. The stakes were never as high as against Thanos and the realization that if they had been defeated and Thanos’ plan for universal genocide had been carried out, they’d both be dead. They never would’ve experienced this, both of them dying thinking their love was unrequited.

The thought made Bucky’s chest ache. He pushed it out of his mind.

“I love you, Bucky."

Bucky smirked, “You said that already.”

“Well, I’ve loved you since I was fifteen, so I’ve got a bit of catching up to do.” Steve took Bucky’s flesh hand, twining their fingers together. “James Buchanan Barnes, I’m in love with you and I will be until my last breath.”

Bucky felt close to tears again. He never thought anyone could love him after the things he’d done in the name of Hydra, let alone Steve. This man that defended him through everything. This man that made him feel like a _person_ , and not the monster he sometimes believed himself to be. Even when Bucky was trying to kill him, Steve refused to fight back, trying to save Bucky at the risk of losing his own life.

"I love you, Steve. So much.”

So easy, so natural.

Steve raised their entwined hands, kissing Bucky’s knuckles. “'Til the end of the line.”

“'Til the end of the line.”


End file.
